THE OFFICIAL 2016 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
BIRTH ORDER REPORT
You can analyze the polls to determine who might have the edge to become the next Presidential nominee of their party, but you’d be looking in the wrong place. Over half of all U.S. Presidents were Middle Children. If you want to know who has what it takes to be President, start with birth order! According to a joint study conducted by the Middle Child Party and International Middle Child Union, of the top ten 2016 Republican candidates, 40% (4) are Middle Children, 40% are the oldest, and 20% (2) are the youngest. Throw in the second tier candidates, and those numbers shift slightly: 37% (6) are Middle Children, 37% are the oldest, and 26% (4) are the youngest. (We couldn’t verify Jim Gilmore’s birth order status, but I’m pretty sure that’s not an issue.)
Most people think that first-borns are the natural born leaders, but experts say that since most Middle Children feel their older and younger siblings get special treatment, Mid Kids learn early on how to negotiate for what they want. As a result, we tend to be agreeable, diplomatic, compromising, handle disappointment well, and have realistic expectations. Those sound like Presidential qualities to me.
Here’s a list of all the contenders and their birth order, with special commentary on the top Middle Child candidates:
TOP REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES
Candidate: Donald Trump Birth Order: Middle Child
This is what happens when a Middle Child gets too much attention. As if the hair didn’t scream, “Look at me” enough, now he’s literally screaming at anyone and everyone he wants. He’s like a Middle Child on steroids!
Candidate: Jeb Bush Birth Order: Middle Child
His older brother was a Governor, so he becomes a Governor. Then his older brother was President, just like their father, so now he wants to be President, too. Classic Middle Child behavior, always trying to live up to the expectations set by your older brother. NOTE TO JEB: It usually doesn’t end well.
Candidate: Scott Walker Birth Order: Oldest
Candidate: Mike Huckabee Birth Order: Youngest
Candidate: Dr. Ben Carson Birth Order: Youngest
Candidate: Ted Cruz Birth Order: Oldest
Candidate: Marco Rubio Birth Order: Middle Child
On the surface, Rubio appears to be a completely well adjusted Middle Child. But that’s the kind you really have to watch out for, because there is no such thing as a well adjusted Middle Child!
Candidate: Rand Paul Birth Order: Middle Child
Also went into the same line of work as his father. He once filibustered for almost 13 hours straight, and another time for almost 10 hours! Think he likes being the center of attention much?