Thursday, November 26, 2015

The Middle Child's Thanksgiving Survival Guide

     The Holiday Season is officially here! That means it’s prime time for the inevitable slights and oversights the Middle Child experiences whenever the family gets together. With that in mind, I am raising the Middle Child Syndrome Advisory to HIGH from now through New Year’s. I also offer the following suggestions to help make your Thanksgiving if not a happy one, at least bearable.

DO NOT OVERREACT... when your Mother says she made your favorite Thanksgiving recipe, and you find out it was really one of your siblings’ favorite recipes.
TRY NOT TO WHINE... when you are seated at the “Kids Table” table. Again.
JUST SMILE... when your Father keeps bragging to everyone about your brother’s big promotion and what a great job your sister has, then asks, “What exactly is it that you do?”
DON’T BE DISAPPOINTED... that all your siblings got bigger slices of pie. And more leftovers to take home.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH... when you find out your vintage comic book collection has been discarded, and your childhood room had been turned into an extra closet.
EAT LOTS OF TURKEY... let the tryptophan kick in, and if you’re lucky you’ll pass out. When you awake, hopefully Thanksgiving will be over.